I sat by the phone for hours
hoping today you’d call
desperately drawing on higher inner and outer powers
to confirm love lives here after all.
Well I waited and waited and waited
till sleep lullibied the day
and woke at dust to the ill-fated
knowing of things your voice didn’t say.
“It’s me, isn’t it?” says my mind in constant repeat
I’m too tall, too short, so fat, far too thin
insecure short-comings ring-a-rosy at my feet
and, seeing them there, I’m reminded that I’m too far gone to begin.
To love from a distance and make my peace with that
after tentative moments shared
we fooled me thrice thinking affection sat
between your perfect smile and words pretending that you cared.
What do I feel now reality has barged through on my door
with the truth of your non-love?
Do I scream? Do I cry? Do I crumple like a mess on the floor?
Or do I release you with sigh and fight more to rise above?
In years to come I’ll smile at this bullet dodge
for truth is you were never good for me, a rogue quite benighted
but today my solace lies in this second tub of dark chocolate fudge
sweetening thoughts of this love unrequited.
© April 2016